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Maybe my grandfather's happy about all this; but I'm miserable。 I can't eat; I can't watch TV; I

can't seem to do anything。

So I went to bed early; but I can't sleep。 I've watched her house from my window for hours

now。 I've stared at the sky; I've counted sheep。 But man;

I can't stop kicking myself for what an idiot I've been all these years。

And now how am I going to make her listen to me? I'd scale that monster sycamore if I could。

Right to the top。 And I'd yell her name across the

rooftops for the whole world to hear。

And since you know what a tree…climbing weenie I am; I think it's pretty clear that I'm willing

to do anything to get her to talk to me。 Man; I'll dive

after her into a chicken coop full of poop if that's what it takes。 I'll ride my bike all the stinkin'

way to school for the rest of eternity if it means being

with her。

Something。 I've got to e up with some thing to show her that I've changed。 To prove to

her that I understand。

But what? How do I show her that I'm not the guy she thinks I am? How do I erase everything

I've done and start over?

Maybe I can't。 Maybe it just can not be done。 But if I've learned one thing from Juli Baker; it's

that I've got to put my whole heart and soul into it and

try。

Whatever happens; I know that my grandfather's right about one thing。

I'll never be the same again。

The 

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